Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Matron and Virgin

Matron is Puzzled 

StTwitters Efficiency Office (The EffOff) has circulated a memo that suggests that Virgin Care is a way forward. 



Now as far as Matron is concerned this has always been the case - this is part of St TWITTERS rich tradition and ritual. It would be inconceivable that any of the Nursing Staff were anything but Virgins, it could not be tolerated any other way.



Indeed - at St Twitters patient care was pure and untainted by the foul touch of the politician and accountant. And so it will remain - a Haven for the the Nursing Profession - and our Noble Medical Seniors.



Nevertheless

As our Noble Patron Sister Plume is want to say.

"'Plan for the worst', is a safe maxim."

"The Welfare of our Patients is at stake."




Saturday, 25 June 2016

StTwexit

IN - OUT - IN - OUT
SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT

#STWITTERS 



Matron is confounded, confabulated, confused, discombobulated. 

All this nonsense about the European Union

What is all this Brexit Commotion

We will have no such nonsense at St Twitters.




The only place that St Twitters belongs to is Matron

And Perhaps the Consultants 

IN? OUT? / STAY? LEAVE?

A Good Evacuation is Essential 

I tell you what - Not with Matrons Nurses

In Matrons World it is ONLY THE PATIENTS THAT MATTER

AND UNIFORMS

AND TRADITION AND RITUAL



AS FOR POLITICIANS - AWAY WITH THEM

YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE A PATIENT AT ST TWITTERS

OH YES !!!

MATRON AND HER GIRLS HAS PLANS FOR THEM





MATRON IS WAITING FOR THEM


IN OR OUT

MATRON IS CLEAR

NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE - ONE DAY YOU WILL NEED A NURSE



AND WHEN YOU DO 

WE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU

MATRON & ST TWITTERS
WILL BE THERE FOR YOU











Thursday, 11 February 2016

St Twitters Weeps for our beloved National Health Service - the NHS is dying

St Twitters Weeps for our beloved National Health Service



Matron and her Staff of devoted Nurses weep and grieve
OUR DOCTORS BETRAYED IN THE NAME OF PROFIT
The NHS is dying



Who should we trust?

This Man (who IS PLAYING GOD)


Or the Profession that takes this Oath



HIPPOCRATIC OATH

I swear to fulfil, to the best of my ability and judgement, this covenant:
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.
I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.
I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.
I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.
I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.
I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.




MATRON AND HER TEAM OF NURSES WEEPS FOR THEIR COLLEAGUES
CRUELLY BETRAYED POLITICIANS WHO WOULD SEE OUR BELOVED NHS DESTROYED IN THE NAME OF PROFIT






Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Matron - Doctors and Politicians.

Matron - Doctors and Politicians.

St Twitters Matron is troubled

ITS ALL GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
STRIKE BY JUNIOR DOCTORS
Another Conservative Achievement 

"You can always ‘pass by on the other side (refuse care if unable to pay). That may be sound economics. It could not be worse morals." A Bevan

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

Yes Matron is Deeply Troubled

She has always believed without question in the natural order of the Hospital hierarchy.


To her this was as sacrosanct as the natural order of the Social Class System.

The Working Class were what they were ...

And the Aristocracy were born to their hallowed station. 


That Politicians chose to presume that they could interfere with this hallowed order was an abomination.

Matron had always had the greatest respect for the Medical Profession. From Student to Consultant - the greatest respect - in the natural order of the Hospital social order. Tradition ruled - tried and tested rituals handed down from one generation to the next. And although it was naturally understood that Doctors, particularly Junior Doctors, were imbeciles when it came to patient care, but equally it was known that Medicine's place at the head of the hospital social class was irrefutable.  



But now Matron was troubled. The upstart infantile politicians wanted to changed the greatest institution in the world - her beloved NHS. Their selfish profit driven aspirations for political attention, power and profit, was in danger of tearing down generations of tradition that placed the patient at the center as the passive recipients of care.

And Whilst Matron agreed that it was unwise to over pay ones staff, it was clear that the actions of this little man "Hunt" were damaging to our noble class structure within the hallowed NHS.



THE DOCTORS - BACK BONE OF SERVICE AND DEDICATION
UNDER THREAT
DEVALUED

JEREMY HUNT
A HEALTH AND SOCIAL CARE TERRORIST

DESTROYING THE NHS FOR PROFIT AND POWER

 Matron implores a return to tradition and modest remuneration that reflects an individuals and servants of the to the NHS social standing.

"No society can legitimately call itself civilized if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means." - Aneurin Bevan 1952

"It (NHS) has now become a part of the texture of our national life. No political party would survive that tried to destroy it." A Bevan 1952

A Professor - Advises God
A Consultant - Talks with God
SPR - Talks to Animals
F2 - Talks to Walls
F1 - Mumbles, 
Nurse - Is God

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Matron, Sttwitters, the Future of the NHS and Schrodinger's Cat

MATRON IS NOT AMUSED 

AND DOES NOT APPROVE OF POLITICS

AT

#STTWITTERS

NHS 2020

DEAD OR ALIVE


Well - what now for StTwitters in the light of the horrendous prospect of a Conservative Government and the Lunacies of Capitalist Tory Boy Cameron and his` Public School Career Politician cronies unleashed on our national treasure.



Such uncertainty aligned with such prescribed possible outcomes. One is drawn to the notion of Schrodingers Cat.

  

This is the Theory - a cat imagined as being enclosed in a box with a radioactive source and a poison that will be released when the source (unpredictably) emits radiation, the cat being considered (according to quantum mechanics) to be simultaneously both dead and alive until the box is opened and the cat observed.


SCHRODINGER'S NHS

Now imagine the beloved NHS is the Cat, the radioactive source is a Conservative Government and the poison is Privatisation. And thus the NHS is both simultaneously dead and alive until proved otherwise.






Its going to be a long 5 Years for the NHS 

THE WELFARE OF OUR PATIENTS IS AT STAKE!!