Thursday, 21 September 2017

STTWITTERS AND ELECTION 2017

STTWITTERS 
AND 
NHS 2017

MATRON IS NOT AMUSED 

StTwitters is devoted to a humourous irreverant reflection on the steriotypes of health care and the nursing profession.
But for once StTwitters must take a more serious take on the staggering events that are overtaking the British National Health Service and its Welfare State.

Matron (a cliche for those who at one time ruled and managed the NHS with a rod of iron, and an implacable ethic and morality of what was "right") is indeed confused and bewildered.  


POLITICIANS WITTERING  ON
WHILST THE WELLFARE OF OUR PATIENTS IS AT STAKE

















WHERE NOW FOR THE NHS??

AND DON'T EVEN START US ON BLOODY "BREXIT"




 

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Matron and Virgin

Matron is Puzzled 

StTwitters Efficiency Office (The EffOff) has circulated a memo that suggests that Virgin Care is a way forward. 



Now as far as Matron is concerned this has always been the case - this is part of St TWITTERS rich tradition and ritual. It would be inconceivable that any of the Nursing Staff were anything but Virgins, it could not be tolerated any other way.



Indeed - at St Twitters patient care was pure and untainted by the foul touch of the politician and accountant. And so it will remain - a Haven for the the Nursing Profession - and our Noble Medical Seniors.



Nevertheless

As our Noble Patron Sister Plume is want to say.

"'Plan for the worst', is a safe maxim."

"The Welfare of our Patients is at stake."




Saturday, 25 June 2016

StTwexit

IN - OUT - IN - OUT
SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT

#STWITTERS 



Matron is confounded, confabulated, confused, discombobulated. 

All this nonsense about the European Union

What is all this Brexit Commotion

We will have no such nonsense at St Twitters.




The only place that St Twitters belongs to is Matron

And Perhaps the Consultants 

IN? OUT? / STAY? LEAVE?

A Good Evacuation is Essential 

I tell you what - Not with Matrons Nurses

In Matrons World it is ONLY THE PATIENTS THAT MATTER

AND UNIFORMS

AND TRADITION AND RITUAL



AS FOR POLITICIANS - AWAY WITH THEM

YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE A PATIENT AT ST TWITTERS

OH YES !!!

MATRON AND HER GIRLS HAS PLANS FOR THEM





MATRON IS WAITING FOR THEM


IN OR OUT

MATRON IS CLEAR

NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE - ONE DAY YOU WILL NEED A NURSE



AND WHEN YOU DO 

WE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU

MATRON & ST TWITTERS
WILL BE THERE FOR YOU











Thursday, 11 February 2016

St Twitters Weeps for our beloved National Health Service - the NHS is dying

St Twitters Weeps for our beloved National Health Service



Matron and her Staff of devoted Nurses weep and grieve
OUR DOCTORS BETRAYED IN THE NAME OF PROFIT
The NHS is dying



Who should we trust?

This Man (who IS PLAYING GOD)


Or the Profession that takes this Oath



HIPPOCRATIC OATH

I swear to fulfil, to the best of my ability and judgement, this covenant:
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.
I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.
I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.
I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.
I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.
I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.




MATRON AND HER TEAM OF NURSES WEEPS FOR THEIR COLLEAGUES
CRUELLY BETRAYED POLITICIANS WHO WOULD SEE OUR BELOVED NHS DESTROYED IN THE NAME OF PROFIT