The Nativity at #StTwitters

The Nativity at St Twitters

This Years Nativity is a magnificent mix of the traditional Xmas story with a twist of the Dickensian Carol

Matron is looking for volunteers for this magnificent production.

AND OF COURSE THERE IS THE CAROL CONCERT WITH SUCH CLASSICS AS

Silent Night Shift (or else) @StMHNurseRahs
The 12 Shifts of Christmas @StMHNurseRahs
We Three Midwives @Marshaj1772 
Deck the Wards with Boughs of Holly
Its beginning to look a lot like Xmas @kirsty641369 
Once in StTwitters Matrons Office
Away in a Bed Pan @StMHNurseRahs
Joy to the Ward @StMHNurseRahs

There will be of course the 

BEST DECORATED WARD COMPETITION

C/O @Buttoncj 

The baby Jesus will be installed in a suitable manger on the Tweediatric Ward

And Matron wants a serious word with Mary and Joseph about birth control and the Theme of the Xmas Party this year

The 3 Wise Men get waylaid at Scrooges Counting House

Scrooge is looking for a post with the NHS Fiscal Control Unit (#FCU)

Bob Cratchitt discovers that there is no room at the Holiday Inn 

The Efficiency Office #EffOff issues their Festive Updates

The Ghost of Xmas Past was too expensive and was a result of the previous Administrations flawed policies

The Ghost of Xmas Present will be required to take a 10% Austerity reduction and there will be no "Ho Ho Ho's" this year

The Ghost of Xmas Yet to Come may have to be cancelled or at the very least take a significant pension cut  

We are looking for auditions and a suitable CV from professional applicants for the Donkey 

  Jacob Marley is doing a Xmas Haunting as Santa at StTwitters

Tiny Tim has changed his tune after having seen the Xmas menu on the Tweediatric Ward 

"You can't be serious - Everyone"

Fascinating Serving Suggestions from @PhillipRABall

CASTING NOW

SEND YOUR 149 CHARACTER APPLICATIONS TO 

#EffOff C/O @BartonTD  

For

Mary c/o @CherylWilson2 

Joseph c/o @Kpecky

Baby Jesus

The Donkey c/o @mcadam_gail 

The 3 Wise Men
The Guiding Star  c/o @Marshaj1772

Scrooge

Jacob Marley

The Ghosts of Xmas Past Present and Future

Tiny Tim
The Angels @salsa442 @NorthwayRuth 
The Fairly on top of the Tree
The Donkey - @PhillipRABall

AND ANY OTHERS YOU CAN THINK OF

STTWITTERS AND ELECTION 2017

STTWITTERS 

AND 

NHS 2017

MATRON IS NOT AMUSED 

StTwitters is devoted to a humourous irreverant reflection on the steriotypes of health care and the nursing profession.
But for once StTwitters must take a more serious take on the staggering events that are overtaking the British National Health Service and its Welfare State.

Matron (a cliche for those who at one time ruled and managed the NHS with a rod of iron, and an implacable ethic and morality of what was "right") is indeed confused and bewildered.  

POLITICIANS WITTERING  ON

WHILST THE WELLFARE OF OUR PATIENTS IS AT STAKE

WHERE NOW FOR THE NHS??

AND DON'T EVEN START US ON BLOODY "BREXIT"

 

Matron and Virgin

Matron is Puzzled 

StTwitters Efficiency Office (The EffOff) has circulated a memo that suggests that Virgin Care is a way forward. 

Now as far as Matron is concerned this has always been the case - this is part of St TWITTERS rich tradition and ritual. It would be inconceivable that any of the Nursing Staff were anything but Virgins, it could not be tolerated any other way.

Indeed - at St Twitters patient care was pure and untainted by the foul touch of the politician and accountant. And so it will remain - a Haven for the the Nursing Profession - and our Noble Medical Seniors.

Nevertheless

As our Noble Patron Sister Plume is want to say.

"'Plan for the worst', is a safe maxim."

"The Welfare of our Patients is at stake."